The Case of the Abandoned Briefcase in JFK

Yours truly, er, me, has just recently returned from a trip to New York. But, this story is about JFK airport and one of the first things that happened to me in the Big Apple. First, allow me to set the scene and general aura that was in the air, or at least, in my head. You're gonna have to put yourself in my shoes for a second people so switch on the ol' imagination for a few minutes. Done? All imagined up? Good. Ok, so i have just clocked up a total of over 8 hours flight time. That's a one hour flight from Ireland to Heathrow airport, and a 7 and a half hour flight from there to JFK. Now, in Heathrow we had to rush from one terminal to the other, only to arrive with time to spare. Only, there is SFA for someone to do in Heathrow while waiting for a planr. Due to my lack of sterling i couldn't buy anything really so that was out of the question. So after a wait we got on the plane to America. Now, i've heard stories about my brother and how he travels, about how he likes to use the people next him as pillows and so on and so forth, i always figured they were taken out of context as a joke. Well, i was wrong. But i refused to be a pillow! I had to fight him off for the 6 hours that he spent asleep on the plane. Not only that, but the food on those planes is just nasty. I mean, it tasted like soggy mush from 4 flights ago after being slightly microwaved. I still nauscious everytime i think about it *shudder* On the lus side, the movie list was good. Anyway, after enduring a 7 and a half hour flight of fending off bad sleeper-travelling brothers we landed in JFK. I was hungry, tired, i hadn't actually slept in roughly 20 hours at this point. But i'm happy to finally step foot onto the land of opportunity. Anyway, as we're queuing up to get our finger prints and what not taken someone calls to the cop who's checking passports and says "Sorry, excuse me, someone's after leaving a briefcase here." So, at that everyone turns to see the idle briefcase, adandoned, and looking suspicious. But, where might the briefcase have been located i hear you ask? Well, let me tell you. It was right next to me! That's right! Me! IF it was a bomb, I was the one who'd have known about it first. I've been in America for 15 minutes and one of the first things that happens to me is not a hot American girl saying how much she loves my accent, no, it's a potential bomb placed next to me! Anyway, i go into the Buddhist defence and block out everything. I leave my body and hope for the best. I mean, if it is a bomb and it does go off then my legs will go bye-bye and then how am i supposed to run away? I'd have to crawl slowly to the nearest fire exit or something. Fortunately, as it turns out, it wasn't a bomb. What happened was this business man got lazy. So he slipped his briefcase under the barrier so that he could walk around without carrying his briefcase, then when he walked around he could just scoop it up and carry on. Damn jackass scared every person there! But it was great seeing the cop yell at him for his stupid stupidness. And i acted all cool, like, "a bomb? Hah! I wasn't even worried!" Truth be told the first thing i thought was "Oooohhhh crap on an alter"