Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The Case of the Abandoned Briefcase in JFK
Yours truly, er, me, has just recently returned from a trip to New York. But, this story is about JFK airport and one of the first things that happened to me in the Big Apple. First, allow me to set the scene and general aura that was in the air, or at least, in my head. You're gonna have to put yourself in my shoes for a second people so switch on the ol' imagination for a few minutes. Done? All imagined up? Good. Ok, so i have just clocked up a total of over 8 hours flight time. That's a one hour flight from Ireland to Heathrow airport, and a 7 and a half hour flight from there to JFK. Now, in Heathrow we had to rush from one terminal to the other, only to arrive with time to spare. Only, there is SFA for someone to do in Heathrow while waiting for a planr. Due to my lack of sterling i couldn't buy anything really so that was out of the question. So after a wait we got on the plane to America. Now, i've heard stories about my brother and how he travels, about how he likes to use the people next him as pillows and so on and so forth, i always figured they were taken out of context as a joke. Well, i was wrong. But i refused to be a pillow! I had to fight him off for the 6 hours that he spent asleep on the plane. Not only that, but the food on those planes is just nasty. I mean, it tasted like soggy mush from 4 flights ago after being slightly microwaved. I still nauscious everytime i think about it *shudder* On the lus side, the movie list was good. Anyway, after enduring a 7 and a half hour flight of fending off bad sleeper-travelling brothers we landed in JFK. I was hungry, tired, i hadn't actually slept in roughly 20 hours at this point. But i'm happy to finally step foot onto the land of opportunity. Anyway, as we're queuing up to get our finger prints and what not taken someone calls to the cop who's checking passports and says "Sorry, excuse me, someone's after leaving a briefcase here." So, at that everyone turns to see the idle briefcase, adandoned, and looking suspicious. But, where might the briefcase have been located i hear you ask? Well, let me tell you. It was right next to me! That's right! Me! IF it was a bomb, I was the one who'd have known about it first. I've been in America for 15 minutes and one of the first things that happens to me is not a hot American girl saying how much she loves my accent, no, it's a potential bomb placed next to me! Anyway, i go into the Buddhist defence and block out everything. I leave my body and hope for the best. I mean, if it is a bomb and it does go off then my legs will go bye-bye and then how am i supposed to run away? I'd have to crawl slowly to the nearest fire exit or something. Fortunately, as it turns out, it wasn't a bomb. What happened was this business man got lazy. So he slipped his briefcase under the barrier so that he could walk around without carrying his briefcase, then when he walked around he could just scoop it up and carry on. Damn jackass scared every person there! But it was great seeing the cop yell at him for his stupid stupidness. And i acted all cool, like, "a bomb? Hah! I wasn't even worried!" Truth be told the first thing i thought was "Oooohhhh crap on an alter"
Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of The Patriots
Snake's last mission, or so we're told to believe, is finally upon us, but has it been worth the wait? Well, to say it simply, hell yes it's been worth the wait. MGS4 is the culmination and tying up of all loose ends and story threads stretching back to MGS1 on the PSX to the present day. Hideo Kojima, the gaming guru, clearly wasn't all too occupied with converting people to the MGS series with MGS4. No, MGS4 is a game for all those fans who have stuck with it from day one and this is Kojima's way of thanking all his fans with his most epic, action packed Metal Gear Solid of the series.
The game begins in the Middle East, setting the scene perfectly and illustrating the world in which the game is set, one dominated of the War Economy and funded by PMCs. Unlike previous Metal Gears, it's not all stealth and tactical espionage. In the Middle East and South America settings, Snake must make his way through a war zone between the PMCs and the local rebel militia. Here the player can choose to sneak by unnoticed while they fight, or they can show one faction who's side they're on by visibly taking out their enemies. I don't want to give too much of the story away. Metal Gear Solid 4 is one of those games we've all been waiting so long for that it shouldn't be spoiled for anyone. Every MGS fan out there should sit down and enjoy every second of it, spoiler free. What i will say is that every surviving character from the previous games makes an appearance at some point, and even others who you never thought would turn up are there. And i will also say that the last stage in the game is among the best set pieces in any MGS game, and reveals a lot of "holy frick" parts of the story.
As i said, i have no intention of spoiling the storyline for anyone so i'm now going to fill you in on the new gameplay. War may have changed, but so has Snake. They say you can't teach an old snake new tricks, but Old Snake begs to differ. He now has a whole arsenal of new moves to try out on his enemies, such as playing dead, rolling over onto his back for better and more precise aim, his new SolidEye allows him to use infrared binoculars and give him data on his enemies, and for the first time in MGS. Solid/Old Snake uses CQC, as seen used by Big Boss in MGS3. There is also a clever explanation as to why Snake can suddenly use CQC if you call Otacon in the Middle East. The biggest change of all in the gameplay mechanics is the new camera. Basically, it's controlled using the right analog stick. Sounds simple and basic right? But it's a huge change for the MGS series and it's usual fixed camera angles and makes sneaking so much easier. A small, but welcome change.
Then there's that question. Is Metal Gear Solid 4 the end of the series, and if it is, is it worthy of being Snake's last mission? Well, personally, i think MGS4 is worthy of being Snake's last mission. It leaves no leaf unturned and clears up everything. Granted, some leaves were unturned in the classical, confusing Metal Gear Solid fashion, but they were still unturned. As for it being the last Metal Gear Solid? Well it is hinted at that it won't be the end, though, if there is going to be a new MGS then it would probably start with a brand new storyline. However, as it stands, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of The Patriots is a worthy and epic farewell to Snake and friends. Good-bye for now everyone. You will be missed!
The game begins in the Middle East, setting the scene perfectly and illustrating the world in which the game is set, one dominated of the War Economy and funded by PMCs. Unlike previous Metal Gears, it's not all stealth and tactical espionage. In the Middle East and South America settings, Snake must make his way through a war zone between the PMCs and the local rebel militia. Here the player can choose to sneak by unnoticed while they fight, or they can show one faction who's side they're on by visibly taking out their enemies. I don't want to give too much of the story away. Metal Gear Solid 4 is one of those games we've all been waiting so long for that it shouldn't be spoiled for anyone. Every MGS fan out there should sit down and enjoy every second of it, spoiler free. What i will say is that every surviving character from the previous games makes an appearance at some point, and even others who you never thought would turn up are there. And i will also say that the last stage in the game is among the best set pieces in any MGS game, and reveals a lot of "holy frick" parts of the story.
As i said, i have no intention of spoiling the storyline for anyone so i'm now going to fill you in on the new gameplay. War may have changed, but so has Snake. They say you can't teach an old snake new tricks, but Old Snake begs to differ. He now has a whole arsenal of new moves to try out on his enemies, such as playing dead, rolling over onto his back for better and more precise aim, his new SolidEye allows him to use infrared binoculars and give him data on his enemies, and for the first time in MGS. Solid/Old Snake uses CQC, as seen used by Big Boss in MGS3. There is also a clever explanation as to why Snake can suddenly use CQC if you call Otacon in the Middle East. The biggest change of all in the gameplay mechanics is the new camera. Basically, it's controlled using the right analog stick. Sounds simple and basic right? But it's a huge change for the MGS series and it's usual fixed camera angles and makes sneaking so much easier. A small, but welcome change.
Then there's that question. Is Metal Gear Solid 4 the end of the series, and if it is, is it worthy of being Snake's last mission? Well, personally, i think MGS4 is worthy of being Snake's last mission. It leaves no leaf unturned and clears up everything. Granted, some leaves were unturned in the classical, confusing Metal Gear Solid fashion, but they were still unturned. As for it being the last Metal Gear Solid? Well it is hinted at that it won't be the end, though, if there is going to be a new MGS then it would probably start with a brand new storyline. However, as it stands, Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of The Patriots is a worthy and epic farewell to Snake and friends. Good-bye for now everyone. You will be missed!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Ill Advised Things To Say In Court
Well if stabbing a man makes me guilty, i'm guilty!
Furthermore, while we have no evidence, he does look a bit rapey
And i put it to you, m'lad, that that child is sexy!
How could she have seen my face? I was wearing a ballekalava
Your Honour, that wig looks really gay
I would like to present my own defence. Through the medium of dance!
So, if i'm found not guilty, can i keep all the stuff i stole?
Will this take long? I'm meeting a boat from Colombia at 9
Furthermore, while we have no evidence, he does look a bit rapey
And i put it to you, m'lad, that that child is sexy!
How could she have seen my face? I was wearing a ballekalava
Your Honour, that wig looks really gay
I would like to present my own defence. Through the medium of dance!
So, if i'm found not guilty, can i keep all the stuff i stole?
Will this take long? I'm meeting a boat from Colombia at 9
A Blog About Blogging? Madness!
That's right people! This blog is all about blogging and what it can do for you! So this post o' mine's gonna be full of bloggage related things!
Blogging is like free therapy and an excellent stress release all rolled into one big ball of blog! You can talk about anything here and no one can stop you. You can talk about illegally betting on midget fights, about punting your little brother across the bedroom, about being sea sick, about a movie, about frollicking through a field of flowers. In slow motion, of course. There's no other way to frollic through a field of flowers, now is there? Anyway, i digress slightly.
Blogging is addictive. It's like a free drug with no paranoia, withdrawals, cold sweats, or fluffy pink elephants flying around your room wearing tutus. Kids, don't do drugs. Drugs are bad, m'kay. Every time you feel the urge to do drugs, blog! It's cheaper and healthier!
Alright! That's it! No more digressing! It's like i've become horribly digressed in a freak digressing accident! Basically, blogging is good, drugging is bad. That's the main thing to take away from this post, i guess. Blogging serves all manner of purposeses(yes, i did notice the spelling, it was intentional) such as online banking, or reviewing, and it's one of the few interweb related things that's free from porn so it's safe for little Timmy to take part in it! For now.........
Blogging is like free therapy and an excellent stress release all rolled into one big ball of blog! You can talk about anything here and no one can stop you. You can talk about illegally betting on midget fights, about punting your little brother across the bedroom, about being sea sick, about a movie, about frollicking through a field of flowers. In slow motion, of course. There's no other way to frollic through a field of flowers, now is there? Anyway, i digress slightly.
Blogging is addictive. It's like a free drug with no paranoia, withdrawals, cold sweats, or fluffy pink elephants flying around your room wearing tutus. Kids, don't do drugs. Drugs are bad, m'kay. Every time you feel the urge to do drugs, blog! It's cheaper and healthier!
Alright! That's it! No more digressing! It's like i've become horribly digressed in a freak digressing accident! Basically, blogging is good, drugging is bad. That's the main thing to take away from this post, i guess. Blogging serves all manner of purposeses(yes, i did notice the spelling, it was intentional) such as online banking, or reviewing, and it's one of the few interweb related things that's free from porn so it's safe for little Timmy to take part in it! For now.........
WANTED
Having literally just got in the door from WANTED I felt the need to do this instant review while it's still fresh in my head. WANTED is good. Very good. Not great, but very good. Well, it's better than good. If there's a word for something that's in between good and great, like, maybe, grood, then WANTED is it. It's full of everything any male could ever want from a movie: slow motion bullet time, guns, more guns, blood, violence, and Angelina Jolie. These things alone make WANTED worth watching, even if you have never, ever, even once heard anything about it.
The plot follows the hapless, boring, everyday protagonist Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) and his life takes a huge turn into the adrenaline fuelled life of an assassin when he comes in contact with head assassin Sloan(Morgan Freeman) and the feisty Fox(Angelina Jolie). I don't want to give too much of the plot away because i just hate doing that. People who spoil movies are worse than the people who talk during them. Or slurp their drink. Well, you know what they say. The darkest depths of hell are reserved for murderers and people who talk in the cinema.
WANTED is definitely worth going to see. It's hit and miss for different people but everyone should at least give it a shot. You may or may not regret it but it's still one of those things you just shouldn't let slip by. Watch it, and form your own opinions.
I give WANTED a strong 7/10
The plot follows the hapless, boring, everyday protagonist Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy) and his life takes a huge turn into the adrenaline fuelled life of an assassin when he comes in contact with head assassin Sloan(Morgan Freeman) and the feisty Fox(Angelina Jolie). I don't want to give too much of the plot away because i just hate doing that. People who spoil movies are worse than the people who talk during them. Or slurp their drink. Well, you know what they say. The darkest depths of hell are reserved for murderers and people who talk in the cinema.
WANTED is definitely worth going to see. It's hit and miss for different people but everyone should at least give it a shot. You may or may not regret it but it's still one of those things you just shouldn't let slip by. Watch it, and form your own opinions.
I give WANTED a strong 7/10
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